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38 SINGS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP? GET HELP NOW

Edited By Alex Santiago

Is Your Relationship Toxic?

When you’re in a healthy relationship, everything just kind of works. Sure, there are bumps in the road, but you generally make decisions together, openly discuss any problems that arise, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

Toxic relationships are another story. And when you’re in one, it can be harder to see red flags.

If you consistently feel drained or unhappy after spending time with your partner, it could be a sign that things need to change, says relationship therapist Jor-El Caraballo.

Here’s a look at some hallmark signs of toxicity in a relationship and what to do if you recognize them in your relationship.

What does it look like?

Depending on the nature of the relationship, signs of toxicity can be subtle or highly obvious, explains Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of “Joy from Fear.”

If you’re in a toxic relationship, you may recognize some of these signs in yourself, your partner, or the relationship itself.

Lack of support

Your time together has stopped being positive or supportive of your goals.

“Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire to see the other succeed in all areas of life,” Caraballo says. But when things turn toxic, every achievement becomes a competition.

In other words, you don’t feel like they have your back.

Toxic communication

Instead of treating each other with kindness, most of your conversations are filled with sarcasm, criticism, or overt hostility. You may even start avoiding talking to each other.

Jealousy

While it’s normal to experience jealousy from time to time, Caraballo explains it can become an issue if you can’t get yourself to think or feel positively about their success.

Controlling behaviors

Questioning where you are all the time or becoming overly upset when you don’t immediately answer texts are both signs of controlling behavior, which can contribute to toxicity in a relationship.

In some cases, these attempts of control over you can be a sign of abuse (more on this later).

Resentment

Holding on to grudges and letting them fester chips away at intimacy.

“Over time, frustration or resentment can build up and make a smaller chasm much bigger,” Caraballo notes.

Dishonesty

You find yourself constantly making up lies about your whereabouts or who you meet up with to avoid spending time with your partner.

Patterns of disrespect

Being chronically late, casually “forgetting” events, and other behaviors that show disrespect for your time are a red flag, Manly says.

Negative financial behaviors

Your partner might make financial decisions, including purchasing big-ticket items or withdrawing large sums of money, without consulting you.

Constant stress

A normal amount of tension runs through every relationship, but finding yourself constantly on edge is an indicator that something’s off.

This ongoing stress can take a toll on your physical and emotional health.

Ignoring your needs

Going along with whatever your partner wants to do, even when it goes against your wishes or comfort level, is a sure sign of toxicity, says clinical psychologist Catalina Lawsin, PhD.

For example, you might agree to a vacation they planned, either intentionally or unintentionally, for dates that aren’t convenient for you.

Lost relationships

You’ve stopped spending time with friends and family, either to avoid conflict with your partner or to get around having to explain what’s happening in your relationship.

Alternatively, you might find your free time is wrapped up in dealing with your partner.

Lack of self-care

In a toxic relationship, you might let go of your usual self-care habits, Lawsin explains.

You might withdraw from hobbies you once loved, neglect your health, and sacrifice your free time.

Hoping for change

You might stay in the relationship because you see the other person’s potential or think that if you just change yourself and your actions, they’ll change as well.

Walking on eggshells

You worry that by bringing up problems, you’ll provoke extreme tension, so you become conflict avoidant and keep any issues to yourself.

Can the relationship be saved?

Many people assume that toxic relationships are doomed, but that isn’t always the case.

The deciding factor? Both partners must want to change, Manly says. “If only one partner is invested in creating healthy patterns, there is —unfortunately — little likelihood that change will occur,” she explains.

Here are a few other signs that you might be able to work things out.

Willingness to invest

You both display an attitude of openness and willingness to invest in making the relationship better.

“This may manifest by an interest in deepening conversations,” Manly says, or setting aside regular blocks of time for spending quality time together.

Acceptance of responsibility

Recognizing the past behaviors that have harmed the relationship is vital on both ends, Manly adds. It reflects an interest in self-awareness and self-responsibility.

Shift from blaming to understanding

If you’re both able to steer the conversation away from blaming and more toward understanding and learning, there may be a path forward.

Openness to outside help

This is a big one. Sometimes, you might need help to get things back on track, either through individual or couples counseling.

How can we move forward?

According to Manly, repairing a toxic relationship will take time, patience, and diligence.

This is especially the case, Manly adds, “given that most toxic relationships often occur as a result of longstanding issues in the current relationship, or as a result of unaddressed issues from prior relationships.”

Here are some steps for turning things around.

Don’t dwell on the past

Sure, part of repairing the relationship will likely involve addressing past events. But this shouldn’t be the sole focus of your relationship moving forward.

Resist the temptation to constantly refer back to negative scenarios.

View your partner with compassion

When you find yourself wanting to blame your partner for all the problems in the relationship, try taking a step back and looking at the potential motivators behind their behavior, Caraballo says.

Have they been going through a hard time at work? Was there some family drama weighing heavily on their mind?

These aren’t excuses for bad behavior, but they can help you come to a better understanding of where your partner’s coming from.

Start therapy

An openness to therapy can be a good sign that things are mendable. Actually following through on this can be key to helping the relationship move forward.

While couples counseling is a good starting point, individual therapy can be a helpful addition, Manly says.

Find support

Regardless of whether you decide to try therapy, look for other support opportunities.

Maybe this involves talking to a close friend or joining a local support group for couples or partners dealing with specific issues in their relationship, such as infidelity or substance misuse.

Practice healthy communication

Pay close attention to how you talk to each other as you mend things. Be gentle with each other. Avoid sarcasm or mild jabs, at least for the time being.

Also focus on using “I” statements, especially when talking about relationship issues.

For example, instead of saying “You don’t listen to what I’m saying,” you could say “I feel like you aren’t listening to me when you take out your phone while I’m talking.”

Be accountable

“Both partners must acknowledge their part in fostering the toxicity,” Lawsin emphasizes.

This means identifying and taking responsibility for your own actions in the relationship. It’s also about being present and engaged during difficult conversations.

Heal individually

It’s important for each of you to individually determine what you need from the relationship and where your boundaries lie, Lawsin advises.

Even if you feel like you already know what your needs and boundaries are, it’s worth revisiting them.

The process of rebuilding a damaged relationship offers a good opportunity to reevaluate how you feel about certain elements of the relationship.

Hold space for the other’s change

Remember, things won’t change overnight. Over the coming months, work together on being flexible and patient with each other as you grow.

Abuse vs. toxicity

Toxicity in a relationship can take many forms, including forms of abuse. There’s never an excuse for abusive behavior. You’re unlikely to change your partner’s behavior on your own.

Abuse comes in many shapes and sizes. This can make it hard to recognize, especially if you’ve been in a long-term, toxic relationship.

The following signs suggest physical or emotional abuse. If you recognize any of these in your relationship, it’s probably best to walk away.

This is easier said than done, but we’ve got some resources that can help at the end of this section.

Diminished self-worth

Your partner blames you for everything that goes wrong and makes you feel as if you can’t do anything right.

“You end up feeling small, confused, shamed, and often exhausted,” Manly says. They may do this by patronizing, dismissing, or embarrassing you in public.

Chronic stress and anxiety

It’s normal to have periods of frustration with your partner or doubts about your future together. But you shouldn’t be spending significant amounts of time worrying about the relationship or your safety and security.

Separation from friends and family

Sometimes, dealing with a toxic relationship can cause you to withdraw from friends and family. But an abusive partner may forcefully distance you from your support network.

For example, they might unplug the phone while you’re talking or get in your face to distract you. They may also convince you that your loved ones don’t want to hear from you, anyway.

Interference with work or school

Forbidding you from seeking employment or studying is a way to isolate and control you.

They may also attempt to humiliate you at your workplace or school by causing a scene or talking to your boss or teachers.

Fear and intimidation

An abusive partner might explode with rage or use intimidation tactics, such as slamming their fists into walls or not allowing you to leave the house during a fight.

Name-calling and put-downs

Insults aimed to humiliate and belittle your interests, appearance, or accomplishments are verbal abuse.

Below are some examples of what things a verbally abusive partner might say:

  • “You’re worthless.”
  • “You can’t do anything right.”
  • “No one else could ever love you.”

Financial restriction

They may control all the money that comes in and prevent you from having your own bank account, restricting access to credit cards, or only giving you a daily allowance.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a technique that makes you question your own feelings, instincts, and sanity.

For example, they may try to convince you that they’ve never abusive, insisting it’s all in your head. Or they may accuse you of being the one with anger and control issues by acting like the victim.

Threats of self-harm

Threatening suicide or self-harm as a way to pressure you into doing things is a form of manipulation and abuse.

Physical violence

Threats and verbal insults can escalate to physical violence. If your partner is pushing, slapping, or hitting you, it’s a clear sign that the relationship has become dangerous.

Get help now

If you suspect you might be in an abusive relationship, trust your instincts and know you don’t have to live this way.

Here are some resources that can help you safely navigate next steps:

  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides services at no cost and offers 24/7 chat and phone support.
  • Day One is a nonprofit organization that works with youth to end dating abuse and domestic violence through community education, supportive services, legal advocacy, and leadership development.
  • Break the Cycle provides services to young people and adults in peer-to-peer abusive relationships.
  • DomesticShelters.org is a mobile-friendly, searchable directory that can help you quickly find domestic violence programs and shelters in the United States and Canada.
Healthline

Cindy Lamothe

Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. She’s written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, and many more. Find her at cindylamothe.com.

Last medically reviewed on November 11, 2019

ADDICTION STATISTICS FACTS IN 2020

42 Addiction Statistics and Facts to Know in 2020

Written by Hristina Nikolovska / February 10, 2020

We’ve compiled the following list of addiction statistics from several verified sources to help educate you. Addiction is a big problem throughout the world, with a lot of people battling various forms of the disease. Because of addiction’s prevalence in the world today, it has become necessary to know the various forms this problem takes and the effects these substances have on us. 

When measuring addiction, it’s all about the quantity of the substance used and the frequency. In the US, the substance abuse facts show us that more than 23 million individuals from age 12 and up suffer from a type of substance abuse disorder. 

These statistics cover several substances, including cocaine, alcohol, and prescription medications, to give a better idea of the challenges those with an addiction face. As the following data will show, these substances affect people across all genders, races, and economic backgrounds. 

Important Addiction Statistics

This list contains some of our more intriguing statistics for a quick read:

  • Only 10% of Americans dealing with addiction receive treatment.
  • 4% of American teenagers struggle with a form of substance use disorder. 
  • 14.8% of young adults struggle with at least one form of substance use disorder.
  • 1 in every 16 adults reported having a substance use disorder (SUD) in 2017.
  • Meth is currently used by approximately 897,000 teenagers and adults in America, thus seriously contributing to the drug problem in America. 
  • Approximately 5 million Americans regularly use cocaine.
  • Approximately 16% of men in America smoke cigarettes.
  • 10% of the people who misuse opioids become addicted to them.

General Statistics on Addiction

1. Only 10% of Americans dealing with addiction receive treatment.

As stated earlier, there are over 23 million people in America struggling with at least one type of addiction. Out of these, very few get treatment. This leaves a lot of people trying to live with a substance addiction.

(USA Today)

2. More than 20% of Americans with an anxiety disorder also suffer from a drug use disorder.

This shows the direct relationship that anxiety and depression have with substance abuse. These may be factors that contribute to or affect drug abuse.

(NCBI)

3. Every year, 3.3 million fatalities occur due to alcohol consumption.

It’s also one of the leading causes of preventable deaths. These alcohol statistics include the results of short-term actions, such as reckless driving, or long-term health problems, such as cancer or liver disease.

(World Health Organization)

4. In 2017, approximately 38% of adults with substance use disorder symptoms had an illegal drug use disorder.

According to the 2017 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, Illicit drug use refers to the abuse of any illegal drugs, as well as the misuse of certain prescription drugs. The list of illegal drugs includes heroin, marijuana, cocaine, inhalants, or methamphetamine.

(Bright Path Program)

5. Genetics and one’s environment have a large impact on addiction.

Why do people do drugs? Genetics, along with the impact one’s environment has on gene expression, accounts for about 40% to 60% of an individual’s risk of addiction.

(NCBI)

Teenage Drug Use Statistics (Ages 12–17)

6. 4% of American teenagers struggle with a form of substance use disorder. 

An estimated 992,000 adolescents—i.e., one in every 25 persons aged 12–17—experience some kind of challenge with substance abuse. 

(American Addiction Centers)

7. 443,000 adolescents aged 12–17 had alcohol use disorders in 2017.

This value correlates with 1.8% of all adolescents, and it shows that teens are more susceptible to the effects of drugs than adults. The 2017 numbers were somewhat lower than the figures from 2002 to 2015, though they were comparable to the 2016 estimate.

(SAMHSA)

8. Approximately 741,000 teenagers suffered from an illicit substance use disorder in 2017.

This corresponds to approximately 3% of teenagers aged 12 to 17 who admitted to having had an illicit drug use disorder. Additional addiction statistics show that an estimated 7.5 million individuals aged 12 and higher had at least one illicit drug use disorder.

(82717life and Drug War Facts)

Young Adults Age 18–25

9. 14.8% of young adults struggle with at least one form of substance use disorder.

In the 2017 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, it was discovered that 5.1 million people in the 18–25 age range struggle with a substance use disorder. This accounts for one out of every 7 people in this age group.

(Bright Path Program)

10. 7.3% of young adults admitted to having an illicit drug use disorder in 2017.

The substance abuse statistics show that about 2.5 million young adults between the ages of 18 and 25 reported struggling with an illicit or illegal drug use disorder in the previous year.

(American Addiction Centers)

Ages 26 and Older

11. In 2017, 5% of adults lived with an alcohol use disorder.

Roughly 10.6 million people aged 26 years and older struggled with alcoholism in 2017, according to the drug addiction statistics from 2017. It was also noted that the values obtained for 2017 were lower than most of the years leading up to it.

(NSDUH)

12. 1 in every 16 adults reported having a substance use disorder (SUD) in 2017.

Approximately 13.6 million people aged 26 years and older admitted to dealing with a substance use disorder. This value represents 6.4% of the total individuals in this age range.

(NSDUH)

Drug Use by Race and Region

13. Native Americans and Alaska Natives 12 years of age and up had the highest level of drug abuse in 2017.

In the survey carried out, 12.8% of Alaskan Natives and Native Americans had trouble with drug abuse or misuse. This is higher than the measured statistics in 2016, which recorded 11.7%.

(American Addiction Centers)

14. About 4.6% of Pacific Islanders and Native Hawaiians struggled with illnesses related to drug use in 2017.

These drug use statistics show that 4.6% of Pacific Islanders and Native Hawaiians struggled with drug use in 2017. This is lower than the 4.8% recorded in 2016’s results.

(American Addiction Centers)

15. Approximately 6.8% of African Americans struggled with drug use-related illnesses in 2017.

6.8% of African Americans, according to the drug statistics from 2017, had issues with drug use, while 6.6% of Latinos or Hispanics suffered from drug use illnesses. Compared with the values from 2016, the values are getting lower among African Americans (7.6%).

(American Addiction Centers)

Methamphetamine Addiction 

16. Meth is currently used by approximately 897,000 teenagers and adults in America. 

Research shows that untreated addiction to meth, one of the most abused drugs out there, can lead to potentially dangerous results. A considerable percentage (30%) of law enforcement agencies see it as the biggest drug threat and one that requires the most resources to tackle.

(Talbott Recovery)

17. Meth is involved in 85%–90% of stimulant-related drug fatalities.

Meth is responsible for causing the highest death toll among stimulant-related drugs, a concern we continue to see among the meth addiction facts. Data from 2015 add that 5,716 individuals died as a consequence of an overdose on stimulants. Worse, the number of deaths caused by stimulant drugs rose by a margin of 225% from 2005 to 2015.

(Talbott Recovery)

18. Admissions to meth addiction therapy increased by 3% from 2014 to 2015. 

These meth statistics show that some people, although few, are seeking treatment for their meth addiction. With more efforts made to educate people, the results should keep improving, and more people will be encouraged to get therapy for their addiction. These statistics also show that up to 135,264 people got help for meth addiction in publicly funded facilities in 2015.

(Talbott Recovery)

Cocaine Statistics

19. Approximately 5 million Americans regularly use cocaine.

In 2017, 2.2 million Americans reported having taken cocaine at least one time in the previous month. Nearly 4% of students in 12th grade admitted to using cocaine at least once in 2018.

(CDC and Addiction Center)

20. In 2017, cocaine was associated with 1 out of 5 overdose-related fatalities.  

This drug abuse statistic also states that the proportion of fatalities associated with cocaine overdose improved from 2016 to 2017 by a margin of 34%. The drug abuse facts verify that cocaine can result in organ damage, cause respiratory failure, and provoke mental disorders.

(CDC)

21. Approximately 966,000 American adults struggled with a cocaine use disorder in 2017.

Cocaine is one of the many substances that have contributed to widespread illegal drug use in America. These statistics also indicate that more than 5 million Americans use cocaine regularly.

(NY Post)

Tobacco Addiction

22. Around 34 million Americans smoke cigarettes. 

This is partly because cigarettes are relatively easy to buy once you’re over 18 years of age. The drug abuse statistics also report that the proportion of Americans smoking cigarettes fell from 21% in 2005 to 14% in 2017. About 604,000 Americans aged 12–17 and about 1.2 million Americans aged 18–21 smoked their first cigarette in 2017.

(Time) 

23. Approximately 16% of men in America smoke cigarettes.

Only 12% of American women smoke cigarettes. People who have the highest probability of using cigarettes are those who live in poverty, have a disability, or don’t have a university degree. Smoking cigarettes in the US results in more than 480,000 deaths each year.

(CDC)

Alcoholism Statistics

24. Of the 61.4% of students who drive in America, 7.8% of them have driven after drinking alcohol.

This shows that of the students who drive, 7.8% had driven one or more times after drinking alcohol. After drinking, the incidence of driving a car or other vehicle was greater among men (9.5%) than women (6%).

(Promises)

25. This disorder leads to over 200 distinct types of health conditions and injuries.

The alcohol abuse statistics indicate that alcohol abuse costs the US about $250 billion annually. According to data from 2016, approximately 15 million Americans are diagnosed with an alcohol use disorder every year, and an estimated 136 million Americans consume alcohol—which is about one-third of the population.

(The Recovery Village)

26. Approximately 2,200 individuals in the US die each year due to alcohol poisoning.

How many people die from alcohol? This comes out to an average of six people a day. Between 2010 and 2012, an estimated 76% of the deaths caused by alcohol poisoning were among adults aged 35–64.

(Promises)

27. Approximately 60%–70% of the married couples who have been in a physical altercation with each other abuse alcohol.

How many families in the US are affected by alcoholism? Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are an issue that can ruin a marriage or drive a wedge. Individuals who drink can blow through the family budget, cause fights, neglect their children, and otherwise impair the health and happiness of the individuals they love. In time, family members may even create symptoms of codependency, unintentionally keeping the addiction alive, even if it harms them. However, family therapy and rehabilitation can be of assistance.

(American Addiction Centers)

Opioid Addiction Statistics

28. Approximately 130 Americans die from issues due to an opioid overdose every day. 

Figures show that up to 399,230 Americans have died as a result of opioids between 1999 and 2017. In America alone, there were 47,600 recorded deadly overdoses in 2017, each involving a minimum of one opioid.

(Pharmacy Times and Addiction Center)

29. Approximately 21%–29% of patients misuse opioids meant for chronic pain.

The Opioid Crisis statistics show that this substance has had a drastic impact on the nation, resulting in public health concerns relating to social and economic welfare. Of the people who take prescription opioids, 21%–29% misuse them.

(NCBI)

30. Just in 2017, 2 million Americans misused prescription opioids for the first time.

A lot of individuals who misuse prescription opioids have a high probability of becoming opioid addicts. These same drug facts also state that around 2 million Americans struggle with an opioid use disorder.

(NIH)

31. Doctors released 191,218,272 opioid prescriptions in 2017.

This is a slight decrease from the 200 million opioid prescriptions that were released annually between 2006 and 2016. Worse, the rate at which opioid painkillers have been sold has risen by 300% since 1999. 

(CDC and Addiction Center)

Opioid Abuse Statistics by State

32. The number of opioid overdoses in big cities have risen by 54% in 16 states.

This statistic also notes that overdoses of opioids have risen by 30% in 52 locations across 45 states from July 2016 to September 2017. As you can see, the number of opioid overdoses, not to mention the overall use of drugs in America, has consistently been on the rise. 

(NBC News)

33. Approximately 80% of individuals who used heroin also misused prescription opioids.

This demonstrates the relationship between the use of prescription opioids and heroin. In a survey carried out in 2014, 94% of the respondents said they first used heroin because most prescription opioids are costlier and harder to obtain. The opioid abuse statistics also go on to show that approximately 4% to 6% of people who misuse heroin had made a shift from prescription opioids. It’s estimated that up to 23% of all the people who take heroin have also developed an addiction to opioids.

(NIH and Addiction Center)

34. 10% of the people who misuse opioids become addicted to them.

The opioid addiction facts show that most people don’t think it’s a big deal to frequently share their unused pain relievers, apparently oblivious to the hazards of non-medical opioid use. When a friend or relative gives opioids to an adolescent, there’s a good chance they will misuse the prescription pain relievers and possibly even develop an addiction.

(Addiction Center)

Heroin Addiction Statistics

35. 886,000 Americans used heroin at least once in 2017.

The statistics counting the number of people who used heroin in America are on the high side. About 494,000 people frequently use heroin. In 2017, 81,000 Americans took heroin for the first time.

(Niznik Behavioral Health and Addiction Center)

36. People addicted to prescription drugs are 40 times more likely to become addicted to heroin.

These heroin addiction facts show that alcohol addicts are twice as likely to also be addicted to heroin, while cannabis addicts are 3 times as likely, and cocaine addicts are 15 times as likely. This demonstrates a clear correlation between heroin addiction and addiction to other substances.

(American Addiction Centers)

37. 25% of those who abuse heroin will likely become addicted to it.

The heroin statistics continue to prove that it’s a highly addictive substance. Obviously, it’s never a good idea to try it because the chances of getting addicted are too great. This is why the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that in most demographic groups in the US, the use of heroin has increased over the previous two centuries.

(Addiction Center)

Prescription Drug Abuse Statistics

38. In 2017, around 1.7 million individuals over 12 years old had a prescription pain reliever use disorder.

According to these statistics, 0.6% of people 12 years old and upwards have a disorder associated with pain reliever abuse. In addition, in 2017, tranquilizers, pain relievers, sedatives, and stimulants were some of the most abused prescription drugs.

(Surgeon General and American Addiction Centers)

39. Opioid painkillers account for 38.2% of drug overdose fatalities.

Prescription drug abuse leads to the biggest proportion of drug overdose fatalities. Of the 22,400 people who died from a drug overdose in the United States recorded in 2005, the most frequently found drug was opioid painkillers, at 38.2%. 

(Foundation for a Drug-Free World)

Marijuana Addiction Statistics

40. Approximately 4.1 million adults in America over 12 years of age struggled with a marijuana use disorder in 2017.

The majority of individuals dealing with marijuana addiction issues were in the age range of 12–25. In 2014, nearly 6% of full-time US university students smoked cannabis daily. This is more than 3 times the number of daily smokers 20 years ago in this demographic.

(American Addiction Centers)

41. Each year, approximately 30–40 million Americans use marijuana by smoking it. 

What is the most commonly used illicit drug among persons aged 12 and older? In 2017, about 1.2 million Americans aged 12–17 and 525,000 over 26 years used marijuana for the first time. Marijuana is increasingly becoming legal across the United States, both for medical and recreational use, but it still isn’t entirely secure because it can be addictive and cause health issues. 

(Addiction Center)

42. About 30% of individuals who admit to using marijuana frequently have a disorder with marijuana use.

The marijuana addiction facts show that at least once in the previous year, 13% of 8th graders, 27% of 10th graders, and 35% of 12th graders used marijuana. Less than 1% of 8th graders, approximately 3% of 10th grade students, and approximately 5% of 12th graders reported using it daily. Marijuana’s average batch has become stronger, which has increased the overall number of marijuana deaths per year. The average marijuana batch in 1990 contained less than 4% THC, but that proportion has since increased to over 12%. 

(Addiction Center)

The Primary Causes of Drug Addiction

  • Adolescents and individuals with mental health disorders have a greater risk of drug use and addiction than other groups.
  • Genetics, including the effect of one’s setting on gene expression, accounts for approximately 40% to 60% of a person’s risk of addiction, according to the addiction stats.
  • Environmental variables may boost a person’s risk of addiction to prescription drugs and their abuse. These could include parents’ substance use and their attitude toward medicines, peer influences, a messy home environment and abuse, community attitudes toward medicine, and poor academic achievement.

Conclusion

Addiction can harm a person’s normal activities and damage their relationships with friends and loved ones. However, there are several treatment procedures that are proven to be helpful with addiction. These addiction statistics should educate readers about the dangerous effects of addiction and help them make better choices.

HOW TO LIVE A DOUBLE LIFE ONLINE WITHOUT GET CAUGHT

Simone Smith,

Contributor Digital Identity Researcher

How to Lead a Double Life Online and Not Get Caught

Simone Smith

Updated Sep 30, 2013 The Internet allows us to form new identities and express controversial ideas without fear of personal reprisal. It allows us to explore interests that would be misunderstood by friends and family and discuss experiences that may damage our career.

There are many reasons to want to create a pseudonymous identity online. You may have undergone a traumatic experience you don’t feel comfortable talking about in public. You may be the head of a stuffy art museum, but love writing Doctor Who fan-fiction. You may want to write a scandalous tell-all blog. Or you may be a rabid democrat living in an extremely-conservative small town. You may just find it liberating to be freed from the biases society holds against your offline life or background.

How to Browse Without Being Tracked
There are many ways your online identity is tracked. For example, websites use cookies to track your activity and record your IP address. To prevent a covert online identity from being associated with your offline identity, you will need to change both your online habits and the tools you use to browse the web.

The first step is to begin using Tor. Tor is a free browser that obscures your IP address by using onion proxy software that provides multi-layer encryption. While not tied to you, personally, your IP address is associated with your individual computer, hence a skilled individual may use your IP address to discover your offline identity. This is why it is important to not rely on services like Chrome’s incognito mode to attempt to live your double life online; while it will prevent websites from storing things on your computer, it will not hide your IP address.

To download the Tor Browser Bundle, which includes everything you need to browse the net anonymously, visit Tor’s website and follow their instructions (also read up on using Tor properly- there are some things you can do using Tor that might still reveal your identity if you are not careful). You should use Tor Browser for all of your secret online activities. It may run a bit slower (as your interactions with other sites are bounced through at least three relays), but it is better to be safe and slow than speedy and sorry.

Use Tor for regular activities as well. This mitigates risk associated with others noticing your browser choice. When questioned about Tor, simply say you use Tor Browser because of concerns about privacy, which have been exacerbated because of this year’s revelations about the NSA.

How to Lay the Foundation of Your Double Life
Most online accounts require an email address. It should go without saying that you should not be using your personal email address when doing anything related to your pseudonymous identity. Instead, you should create a separate email that has no connection to your normal identity and is only used in connection to your covert activities.

I recommend using a free service such as Hushmail, Gmail, or Riseup.net to create this account rather than Yahoo or Hotmail, as the latter options include the IP address of the computer used to send a particular message. While this matters less when you are using Tor, you may still find yourself in a situation in which you need to check that account without the browser’s protection, hence more secretive email providers are better.

Tips on Developing Sound and Secretive Habits
With Tor Browser and a designated email account, you are free to live out your double life- so long as you do so carefully.

Never ever use a work computer for secretive activities. I don’t care how encrypted your work communications are. Company-owned computers are not to be trusted. Keylogging software, which will make all of your careful precautions amount to nothing, is only one of many potential complications.

Avoid using mobile devices. They can be lost. They can be stolen. Strangers (or worse yet, friends, family, and colleagues) can more easily look over your shoulder or snatch your device out of your hands. If you must conduct some of your double life through a mobile device, make sure it is password protected, only use it in private spaces, and bolster it with additional privacy protections, which, for the sake of brevity, I recommend you find independently.

If your double life involves posting content (e.g. blog posts about your secret ventures as an undercover nun), schedule your posts (many blogging platforms offer this functionality) so that they are published at random intervals that cannot be associated with a specific time zone or lifestyle. Do not tag photos, posts, or tweets with your location.

Important Identifying Information to Hide
Obvious information that might be used to determine who you are (eg. your name or the names of people in your life, your personal email address, identifying photos. etc.) is but a small factor to consider. Most secret identities are discovered by those who use more subtle hints to piece together your personal puzzle.

Don’t give away hints by even letting your pseudonym resemble your real name. If your name is John Doe, your online handle should be entirely different, like Shane Kugel (and not J.D. or Shawn Moe). Be extremely careful about mentioning employers in a manner that would enable the casual viewer to narrow your real employer down to a couple of candidates (e.g. “I work for a pet grooming salon in San Francisco, California”). Also be mindful with regard to any habits, sayings, or possessions you might mention (e.g. a storm trooper figurine kept at your desk) that could be identified by those who know you in real life.

If you maintain a website, make your WHOIS information private. If you do not, everything from your name to your email, phone number, and address may show up in WHOIS queries (just search for your friends’ domains to get an idea of the information that might be revealed). Subscribe to The Morning Email. Wake up to the day’s most important news.

Should you be involved in commerce, opt for trades whenever possible. Gift cards might be a convenient form of currency, so long as you keep the value of transactions below $500. Generally speaking, money is difficult to keep anonymous online- even when Bitcoin is used.

The Importance Leaving No Trace
Whenever you finish a session of secretive internet activity, your computer should be devoid of damning information. While it helps that you are using Tor, it is also important that you delete any files from your computer related to your pseudonymous identity (e.g. drafts of blog posts, photos, etc.) before you get up and walk away.

You never know who might poke around your desktop when you aren’t looking, and you would be surprised by how many friends and family members know the passwords to their loved ones’ machines.

Good Luck!
This brief guide is an introduction, not a comprehensive playbook. Its recommended tactics will help you avoid major mistakes and may accommodate “harmless” double lives, but if you are involved in some serious whistle blowing activity, fighting against a totalitarian government, or are threatening to take down a beloved member of 4Chan, you’re playing an entirely different ballgame.

CAN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP REALLY WORK?

Relationship Advice, Relationship Problems, Relationships, Sexuality

By Psych Alive

open relationship

Research tells us that about 4 to 5 percent of heterosexual couples have agreed to have an open relationship. In other words, they’ve given their consent to not be monogamous. That may seem like a relatively small and, given the stigma surrounding open relationships, unsurprising number. Yet, take this into consideration. The latest data from the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey revealed that more than 20 percent of married men and nearly 15 percent of married women admit to infidelity, a number that’s risen almost 40 percent for women in the past 20 years. Remember, these are only admitted affairs. Some studies even posit that between 30 and 60 percent of married individuals in the United States will engage in adultery at some point in their marriage. So, while only 4 to 5 percent of men and women are choosing to be open about their extramarital relations, somewhere between 15 and 60 percent are opting for a less consensual form of infidelity.

What does this tell us about our society? One, a pretty significant percentage of the population is clearly drawn to non-monogamous relationships, yet a much smaller percent is willing to call it like it is. For the people who choose to engage in affairs, is it more honorable to come to an agreement with their partner or to sneak around and deceive? Can an open relationship actually work? How can two people, alone in their romantic union, find common ground on this society tricky and taboo subject?

For any relationship to work, there are certain fundamental qualities to be aware of. In an open relationship, in which a couple chooses not to hide or to allow infidelity, it is all the more important to encourage honest communication and healthy ways of handling emotions like jealousy, victimization or a desire to control. Whether you’re interested in a monogamous or open relationship, here are some of the elements you’ll want to avoid if you want to keep things close, consistent and exciting between you and your partner.

Dishonesty – According to psychologist and co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, Lisa Firestone, “When it comes to their intimate relationships, couples can make any decision they want about monogamy, as long as this decision is mutually agreed upon by both partners… Many couples have made exceptions to sexual fidelity or are taking alternative approaches to their sexual freedom. Yet, no matter what the agreement is, there is one fundamental quality that, if compromised, can destroy a relationship: honesty.”

There is often considerable devastation when an affair is discovered, and it seems the lying aspect of the scenario has a lot to do with the pain that ensues. In her blog, “What’s Wrong with Infidelity?” Dr. Firestone went on to cite research that has shown unfaithful individuals are less likely to practice safe sex than people in open relationships. This act of deception thus poses both a physical and emotional threat to their partner. “Whatever their decision is regarding monogamy, if two people want their relationship to stay strong, they must strive to be open and truthful and to ensure their actions always match their words,” said Dr. Firestone. To paraphrase, an open relationship without honesty is a recipe for disaster. Any deception is likely to lead to the same feelings of hurt and distrust that arise in unexpected discoveries of infidelity.

We may not be able to control our attractions, but we can control how we behave. Even if these attractions escalate into a real interest, we can make a commitment to talk to our partner about our feelings before we act on them. In this sense, being open with our partner and encouraging them to be open with us will inspire an atmosphere of honesty that may help us to better deal with feelings of jealousy or paranoia.

Jealousy – Jealousy is a natural human emotion. Yet, the way we use it can be very destructive. “Lurking behind the paranoia toward our partners or the criticisms toward a perceived third-party threat, are often critical thoughts toward ourselves,” said Firestone. She describes how a person’s “critical inner voice” can flood his or her mind with harmful suspicions and accusations that fuel feelings of jealousy. She frequently finds that what people are telling themselves about what’s going on with their partner is often a lot worse than what is actually going on. For example, a person may think, “She is totally checking out that guy. She’s losing interest in me. She’s going to have an affair. You should just get out before she hurts you.”

Your inner critic will also use your partner’s perceived attractions against you. “Thoughts like, “What does he see in her?” can quickly turn into “She is so much prettier/thinner/more successful than me,” said Dr. Firestone. “Even when our worst fears materialize and we learn of a partner’s affair, we frequently react by directing anger at ourselves for being “foolish, unlovable, ruined or unwanted.”

These shaming attitudes toward ourselves and our partner can breed an environment of distrust. If a healthy relationship must be built on honesty and trust, then jealousy has to be kept in check. The first way to do this is to own our emotions and deal with our inner critic rather than allowing it to poison our relationship. We should work hard to be vulnerable and open to our partner, to offer them our trust and support of their independence and individuality. This doesn’t mean we have to agree to an open relationship. It just means working on having open communication and trying not to allow our inner critic to overtake us and drive our behavior.

Whether or not we attempt to impose restrictions on our partner, we live in a world full of risks. We can never claim ownership over another human being or their sexuality, nor can they own ours. There is always a chance he or she will develop feelings for someone else. The best thing we can do is feel secure and strong in ourselves and know that we can handle a lot more than we think can.

Fear – When people think of the fears that arise in a relationship, they usually think of their fear of losing their partner. However, there is an underlying fear of intimacy that has an insidious effect on people being able to pursue a relationship to the fullest of their ability. They find it difficult to let things get too close or to tolerate loving feelings directed toward them. What makes this even more complicated is the fact that this fear can sit below the surface, so it isn’t entirely conscious. Instead of thinking, “I’m too scared of being in love to be in this relationship,” we will have thoughts like, “He is just way too into me. I can’t make this kind of commitment right now. One of us will just wind up getting hurt.” As things get closer in a relationship, we may have the tendency to pull away from someone who is actually giving us what we always thought we wanted.

It is very common to have these reactions to intimacy, yet so many people feel they’re alone in this. We often fail to recognize these feelings as fears and instead assume that they are rational reasons to split up with our partner, take a break or find someone else. The trouble is the same issues are likely to arise in any relationship we find, because these fears reside within us. Until we deal with them in ourselves, they’re likely to creep up at some point in our relationship.

If you’re interested in an open relationship, you may want to ask yourself certain questions, like “Am I simply interested in sexual freedom or am I pulling away from closeness with my current partner?” “Is there something missing from my current relationship that I’m not dealing with?”

No matter what type of relationship you’re in, to be close to anyone, you’ll have to get to know and challenge your own resistance and fears. These fears often come from old feelings of hurt, rejection or loss. They may be keeping you from finding and maintaining the love you say you want. They may even be blocking your feelings of wanting love in the first place, filling your head with thoughts like, “Relationships are stupid and unnatural. People just wind up miserable, putting each other in chains.” Be wary of these cynical thoughts toward love, because they often mask much deeper fears.

Whatever a couple decides to do, whether insisting on monogamy or making certain exceptions, that is for them alone to decide. What matters is that once they’ve decided and agreed upon the terms of their relationship, they must stand by these decisions. In doing so, they offer their partner and themselves a certain degree of trust, freedom and respect as the separate individuals they are. When two people recognize each other’s individuality, they’re able to avoid falling into a “fantasy bond,” an illusion of connection that replaces real love and sabotages exciting relationships. They’re able to maintain their attractions to each other and to keep the spark alive, so to speak.

To avoid a fantasy bond and other traps that doom any relationship, all couples should strive to be honest with each other, to deal with their jealous feelings in healthy ways and to challenge their deeply rooted fears of intimacy. By making this their focus, they are far better able to sustain richer, more rewarding relationships. From this foundation, they are much better equipped to have open, honest and mature discussions about attractions and monogamy and are much less likely to engage in deception and secret infidelity.