1) Have your own life
This is like, literally the foundation of starting a great relationship and will give you the starting base to make her like you. Think of it like this. Let’s say someone is trying to sell you this amazing new book with all kinds of secret life formulas in it that will make you rich, happy, get a 6 pack in 3 days and become a new world leader.
Well, you buy it because the marketing and packaging of the book looks great, but then you open it, and all it says is “life is short, you don’t need these things, buy more books for better advice”.
To be truly attractive, you need to have your own life by working on yourself!
When you are trying to get in a relationship or make a girl like you and you have a boring life, this is literally what you are doing.You are making the packaging look great, but in reality… you have no life.
Imagine having such an amazing life and doing awesome things that you say, “Hey girl, I really like you and enjoy having you around, wanna stick around?” and that’s all it takes. Make your own personal life interesting and girls will flock.
(I have a whole detailed article on asking a girl out, if you’d like to learn more!)
2) Have an interesting hobby or passion
Here’s another super interesting tip that is hard to find elsewhere on the internet. Literally having just one passion will make you seem more interesting, plus it adds respect to tip #1, you’re starting your own life.
Your hobby can be anything that you’re passionate about, just make sure it’s true passion and not faked.If I said I loved chainsaws and carving chainsaw art in my free time, but I actually didn’t, the sparkle won’t be there and the girl won’t see it.
The trick with passions is that you should actually start with something you enjoy, and then keep working on it. The better you get with that task, and the more you improve your skill… the more of a passion it will become and the more attractive a girl might find you practicing it.
One study says that having any hobby, even if it’s sexual in naturewill improve your attractiveness to a potential date.
When you are actually passionate about something, your girl will notice. There’s something infinitely sexy about a guy with an intense passion towards something. It could be programming, motorcycling, cooking, drawing, reading, playing an instrument and anything else that suits your fancy, just put the time in. Bonus points if you create something in the process.
3) Have Great Hygiene
Okay guys. Number one tip to instantly make a girl attracted.Smell good. I don’t even mean smell amazing, you just have to smell decent.
Go take a shower, rub body soap all over you. Twice. Shampoo your hair, dry yourself off, apply deodorant, put clean clothes on, and you’re set. No need to douse yourself with half a gallon of Axe bodyspray like a middle-schooler in love with a girl he likes, you just have to smell presentable.
You can, though, buy some cologne and spray one squirt.Two squirts max. On yourself (not on your clothes). I recommend one on the wrist and one near your neckline. This is all it takes to smell great, and girls fall for great smelling guys all the time.Honestly, this trick alone is enough to more than double your chances at getting a date with a girl.
4) Ask her to do things for you
So this is definitely a secret tip, and maybe even a bit manipulative, but definitely not anything evil or negative. Just ask her to do something for you.There is a psychological effect called the Benjamin Franklineffect that goes like this.
You ask a girl to do something for you, she does it, she subconsciously likes you a bit more. You might be asking “why though”. Well, when we do stuff for people, our brain thinks since we do something for someone, we must like them.
Benjamin Franklin used this techniques on his rivals and political opponents to get them to like him more. It worked so well, they named it the Benjamin Franklin Effect.
Also, something called theconsistency bias. After someone has done something for you a couple times, they’re more likely to do more for you just because they don’t want to look inconsistent.
Tip: ask for things like, picking up a pencil, for notes in class, giving someone a paper, and even small errands. Don’t overdo it though or she will feel like you’re using her.
5) Make her laugh
This is a great tip!
You may think you’re not funny, but the truth is everyone can be funny if they try. You have to put yourself in enough situations to get used to the awkwardness of telling an unfunny joke enough that you have the confidence to tell more jokes around people.
The more you tell, the better you will get.
Girls love laughing (there’s tons of studies on this – humor is very closely related to high social status), and the more you can make them laugh, the higher up in the social chain you will seem.
It proves that you’re intellectually strong and humorous, which is a desirable trait in a future mate.Also, this will give you a chance to see where her eyes are going when she laughs, to tell if she is interested in you.
A great way to tell if a girl likes you or is romantically interested in you is to look where her eyes dart when she laughs. If her eyes dart at you first when she laughs, she probably likes you at a subconscious level.
This is an amazing trick to make anyone your girlfriend, but it’ll also make guys like you too, increasing your rank on the dominance hierarchy… and ultimate increasing your status in a girl’s eyes.
6) Be her friend
There is a big difference between being her friend, and being friendzoned. Also, I want to note, it’s been proven and totally acceptable to be in the friendzone for months at a time and then move in and start dating. Go the extra mile and do stuff that makes her smile. Leave little notes in her car. Send her good morning texts.
Talk her through her problems and sympathize with her. In fact, in doing these things, you’re practically halfway dating her already. You just have to tell her you want her for the rest of your life and then you’re basically set.
Really, though… the best relationships lay their foundations in truth and friendship.
Here’s a quick tip: Ask her and find out her favorite color. Within the week, buy flowers and send the flowers to her workplace.
Not only will this make her feel special because you sent her flowers, but sending them to her workplace will make you stand out…girls love feeling special and showing other people.
Check out my article on Wifey Material if you’re looking to get serious!
7) Break the “Touch Barrier”
Here’s a good subconscious psychological tip that can work amazingly well in many situations.Touch her shoulder, ask her for something and grab it out of her hand, or make up some game that requires touch and play it with her, like rock paper scissors.
Come up with a cool handshake if you have to. The idea is to make her know that you’re willing to touch her in a nonsexual way because you feel comfortable around her and to get her reaction.
If she seems disgusted or scared, don’t touch her any more.
8 ) Tell her secrets
Tell her a secret about you, something personal that not very many people know. This will open the door for trust and as you tell her things about you, she will notice that you trust her, which in turn will make her trust you more.
Psychologically, we like and trust people who trust us first, because we have a natural instinct to be wary of new people and to not trust them. So when you prove you trust her, she will start to reciprocate in the same fashion.
If you’re finding yourself wondering “how do I get her to like me?”, then start with tip #1 and by the time you’re to this step, you should be able to gain her trust with a secret.
I recommend telling her secrets you’d be okay with if other people knew just in case she tells someone, but make sure they are personal, and that they would be considered a secret.
Bonus points for things that areslightly embarrassing as well.Something like you have 11 toes or you’re voting for Trump should do fine. Just remember that girls love it when you tell them secrets.
9) Give her all of your attention
In a world where your attention can go anywhere, it is one of the most valuable things you can give a girl. If you want her, pay attention to her, and not just for a couple minutes.
Look her in the eyes when she’s talking to you and make mental note of all the stuff she’s talking about, if you can mention it in later conversations, she’ll feel special and start to enjoy your presence.
In my dating course (which I talk about below), I teach you about the 5 levels of listening, from physical sound to empathetic listening. You can really get a girl to fall in love with you once you relate on an emotional level and understand her simply by listening.
A tip that is opposite of this is to not give her all of your attention.Some girls will be more attracted to you if you don’t bend to her every will. In fact, it’s been proven women are more attracted to guys who’s feelings aren’t clear to them.
This is a controversial topic in the pickup world, and guys are split about 50/50 on this:
- Be so alpha that you don’t need to pay attention to her. In the pickup world, girls should want to chase you
- Be authentic and honest and give the girl you like attention, just like you’d want if you here her.
In my opinion, what really matters is the girl that you’re chasing. Option 1 usually works better for a one-night stand.Option 2 usually works better if your goal is a long-term committed relationship. Choose your pickup approach carefully!
10) Beef up your confidence game
I’ll be making a video soon on some amazing secret tips that you can do each day to boost your confidence game. This has a lot to do with being self-aware and knowing what makes you feel awkward and insecure and working on yourself to improve this and become more secure and confident who you are as a person.
The best general advice I can give you to become more confident and to make a girl like you is to workout regularly. If you’re in middle or high school, I suggest weightlifting 3 days a week: arms, legs, and core or some cardio.
If you’re trying to get a girl to like you in high school, and especially if you’re in college, you can get into more advanced workout schedules and supplements. This goes back to tip #1: work on yourself.
I’ve actually put together a fullPDF of 27 ways to increase your own confidence for you if you want more confidence tips.
Girls love it when a guy shows that he’s not offended or constantly worrying about what other people think. If you’re here searching how to get girls to like you, then being more confident in your thoughts and your actions is a surefire way to be more attractive to anyone.
I once heard a story about a guy who was on steroids (yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it), but his confidence was so insane he just went up to like 7-8 women on the spot and asked them out in a week. All of them said yes.
Later, when he was off his cycle…he asked them why they agreed so quickly (because he wasn’t the most attractive and wasn’t used to girls showing interest in him).They answered in different ways, but they all said they loved his confidence and just felt like he would be a great boyfriend. Note: this is anecdotal evidence and you should take it as that.
If you have any more tips on how to get a girl to like you, leave a comment below and I’d love to add them to help more people.
Now, I know the video I originally created was only 10 tips, but because this article and video have gone so viral, I’ve decided to add a few more tips to help make a girl attracted to you.
11) Similarity-Attraction Effect
So there’s an effect in psychology and sociology both, that we like people who are similar to us. I mean, you’re more likely to enjoy spending time with a girl who also likes to watch Stranger Things, than one who would rather spend her time doing something you’ve never heard of.
You can use this to your benefit too!
The trick is to listen to the girl you’re talking to very carefully and simply highlight the things that you have in common. She says she likes country music? Let her know your favorite band!
To get your crush to like you, even do some research beforehand and find out what she likes and check them out…but be genuine. If you say you like something she likes, but are just saying it to win her over she will eventually figure you out.
Studies have proven this effect over and over again and it can be from things like favorite colors to attitudes, to even haircuts. I suspect this is because if they are more like us, then they are more predictable, and from a psychological perspective our brains think they are safer people.
12) Familiarity Effect
There’s another effect just like the similarity-attraction effect called the familiarity effect, and as the name implies, girls like guys who are more familiar. Some psychologists call this the mere-exposure effect. This is why so many couples end up getting back together 10-20 years after high school, because they’re familiar with each other.
It’s also why CocaCola will spend billions on billboards even though almost nobody notices them anymore. They’re just getting you familiar with their brand.According to many studies, we like things we are familiar with them. Do the same thing with girls.
Make sure that cute girl you like sees you every day, even if it takes a year for you to ask her out! Learning how to make a girl smile isn’t that difficult, especially if you’re already in her social circle.
Even if you don’t think you can pull a girl you like because she might be out of your league…start by getting her familiar to seeing you and you’ll exponentially increase your chances. There are tons of guys who have had a girl out of their league like them simply by being familiar with them first.
13) Novel Effect
There was a study done where people were given new computer tools to accomplish a job.
What the researchers found was that productivity almost tripled, but the technology wasn’t really new, just new to the people using it. After some time, their productivity went back to normal levels. Things that are novel, or new and unusual activate parts of our brain that invoke curiosity, and thus attractiveness.
Curiosity and romantic attractiveness are on the same arousal level. It’s why a lot of experts suggest taking your date to a scary movie. Now you know why that guys with the crazy beard gets so many girls. Be you, be new, and work on improving yourself to be more attractive using psychology. The Novel effect is a great way to get a girl to like you over texts because almost everyone has their own texting style.
14) Bedroom Eyes
Bedroom eyes is a facial expression that not very many people know about. Basically, just soften your gaze, relax your face, and… here’s the trick… dilate your pupils.
Utilizing bedroom eyes on a girl that you’re familiar with is a surefire way to either get her to like you (even if she has a boyfriend) or to think you’re really weird and creepy.
If you can’t dilate your pupils at your command, you can tell your brain to do it by simply looking at something attractive… and thinking of doing something even more attractive. The longer gaze might seem awkward, but studies show eye contact over 7 seconds long screams vulnerability which of course commands attractiveness.
Along with that, when we look at someone’s dilated pupils, we like them more. There are studies to back this one up too. So practice in a mirror and look like Chloe! I wish you luck in your pursuit of getting the girl you like and if you found these simple psychology tricks helpful, make sure to leave a comment below!
15) Use the HOTAPE Framework
The HOTAPE Framework is a style of flirting that can give guys a simple acronym to remember when they get nervous talking to a girl. I have an entire article on the HOTAPE Method, so check it out if you want to learn more.
Humor: Girls like guys who are funny.
Openness: Open body language is attractive.
Touch: Touching a girl in a nonintimate way can increase attraction.
Attention: How much attention are you giving the girl, and how much is she giving you?
Proximity: The closer a girl is to you, the higher the probability she likes you.
Eye Contact: Eye contact differentiates friendly from flirty.
This flirting framework works great because if you “fail”, you can blame it on your inability to follow the acronym, instead of just you. “Dang, I didn’t show enough eye contact” instead of “I’m such a loser and she didn’t like me”.
16) Use the PushPull Technique
Ahh, the infamous pushpull technique of flirting. What is it you ask? Well, pushing a girl is showing her that you may not be interested. Pulling a girl, is metaphorically showing her you like being in her presence. Do both of them right after each other, and for some reason… you can get make certain girls fall in love with you.
An example of a push pull situation: You say to a girl “Hey, come here”. Literally pulling her towards you. Then after she approaches, say “I thought you were really beautiful over there, but as you got closer, I realized you had a tattoo…”. Smile when you say this! This can open up the conversation to a flirty tone about how you thought she was a gorgeous, nice girl at first, but now you think she might be “bad”.
Want more push pull flirting examples?
It should be noted that the type of girls that respond well to this method are also usually girls you do not want to date long-term. I suppose that this is because of certain developmental psychological issues that cause attachment issues also make these girls attracted to the push pull method.The HOTAPE Method is much more reliable.
17) Tease Her
Imagine if you came up to a girl and you were super direct: “Hey, I find you physically attractive and I’d like to get to know your personality to see if we could be long-term partners, potentially for life. Would you like to go on an initial date to see if we enjoy spending time with each other?”That sounds a bit robotic, but at least it’s genuine.
The best way to get the same point across is to tease her a little. “I really like you, but I don’t really know that much about you… I mean, you’re simply gorgeous, but you could have horrible taste in movies and that’s just a big turnoff. How about you pick a movie to watch for Saturday night, I’ll buy it and some popcorn, and we can call it a date?”.
Wondering how to tease a girl can be difficult, especially for many inexperienced guys who don’t understand boundaries. If you have any advice on how to tease a woman, please leave a comment below.
18) Cook Her Dinner
If you’re ready to ask a girl out on a date, one of the best first dates to go on is to cook her dinner.This will show her you know how to take care of her, but also gives you a chance to show off your mad cooking skills.
Doing simple stuff like this is the very foundation of attraction.
19) Ask Her How She Feels
One of the most important things, when it comes to women, is how they feel. You can guess all you want, but you won’t really know her feelings until you ask her.Most girls are completely honest if you ask them, and what you’ll find is that they aren’t completely sure how they feel.Sometimes asking a girl is enough to get her to think about how serious she wants to be with you.
20) Show, don’t tell
One of the largest problems I see that guys make, is they are all bark and no bite. What do I mean by this? They tell a girl they love them, and can say all the right words to make a girl fall for them, but after “the deal is sealed”, they just stop. They don’t put forth any more effort. Instead, continue showing your girlfriend how much she means to you.
If you really want to get a girl to like you, you need to invest in her.
This means with your time, your money, and your emotions.
Cut time out of your dayspecifically for her and listen to her using the 5th level of listening (empathetic listening). Invest in her with your money. Buy her things that you know will make her smile, and spend money on experiences you both can enjoy.Lastly, you must be willing toinvest in her emotionally… this means you must be vulnerable and be okay with sharing your emotions and feelings.
21) Stand Out From The Crowd
Which tomato stands out? It’s the one that’s a different color, right?This is called the Von Restorff Effect (The isolation effect), and it shows that we like to pay more attention to things that stand out from the crowd. So use this psychological effect to your benefit and be a guy who’s unique.
22) Display Confident Body Language
I have a whole article on the psychology of dominant body language, but here’s a quick recap:
Point your feet towards her: This shows her that you’re interested, without even saying a word.
Point your shoulders towards her: This increases the indication that you’re interested in her. By keeping both your feet and shoulders towards her, she knows for sure that you’re into her.
Keep your chin up: This is a confidence trick. By keeping your chin up, you are forced to feel more positive and energetic.
Keep your shoulders back: This is a basic body language tip that helps show you’re not nervous. If you were nervous, it means you could be a “beta male” or even make the girl you’re talking to nervous/anxious.
Keep your palms open: This supports the last tip and helps make the woman you’re talking to feel calm and safe.